Typically, it is the Maid of Honor (MOH). That said, and though this is tradition, things are a lot more unique now-a-days! Depending on location, it may make more sense for an aunt, a grandma, or a family friend to hold the shower. Maybe you have a friend who is an event planner who is willing to carve out the time (and wants to!) help. Often times, the Mother of the Bride (MOB) will have too much already on her plate, but she may still want to be involved and help co-host. It is really up to the bride’s entourage and to whoever wants to plan this special occasion!
Should the Bride Be Involved? Or Simply Attend?
It’s always good to have a listening ear to see if the bride has any suggestions on theme, food, games, etc. She shouldn’t necessarily be involved in planning the event, though – it’s her time to be pampered and spoiled! It is also crucial that you run the date, time, and place past her to make sure it fits within her schedule.
Dates to Avoid
We recommend keeping in mind important holidays, family traditions, birthdays, etc. so the shower doesn’t clash with another main event. Have the bride send you a list of preferred dates, or at least dates to avoid. The event should be held a few months to a couple of weeks before the big day.
Who Do You Invite?
The one and only rule you should follow here is that whomever is invited to the shower should also be invited to the actual wedding. Other than that, it is completely up to the vibe you are going for! It could be small and intimate with just the bridal party as well as bride’s family and female relatives of her partner, or you could go all out and invite all of her female friends, coworkers, and more! This should also largely be based on your budget – there is no right or wrong when it comes to size. It is also 100% normal to have multiple showers if people are spread out in different states.
If Held at a Restaurant, Who Pays for Food and Drink?
Traditionally, this event is different than a bachelorette party in which the host (or hosts) should treat the attendees and pay for the event. This can certainly add up, so if a budget doesn’t allow (totally okay if this is the case!) it is very common to do light apps and drinks or have a homemade catered meal.
If the Bride Doesn’t Want a Shower
No big deal! Just make sure that she is extra sure she doesn’t want it, but definitely listen to her wishes. It’s of course nice to want to do something special for her, but hey, one less duty to handle! Maybe suggest a spa day, brunch with the bridal party, or mani-pedis instead. 🙂